Living The SweetLife : Thinking about your Transition June 2015
So I want to get you thinking about something that most of you will not want to do. I want you to start thinking about what you want to happen when you are no longer amongst the living. Recently I got a call from one of my AMP families asking me if I could produce a piece of art for their mother’s service. They had always known that when she passed she would want my capture of her to be what people remembered. Everything that needed to be done had already been planned and her transition was a beautiful one. By complete contrast, when my own mother was killed it was a hectic time. You can imagine, I am sure what a sudden death looks like…chaos and confusion. Mother did not want to be buried but she was because my grandparents couldn’t go through with cremating her and my father wanted us to “see” our mother in her casket. No one was prepared for her to be just “poof” be gone. When my father exited his stage I was in a photo shoot and at lunchtime I called to wish him a happy birthday only to discover that he had promptly and with out warning dropped dead at home.
Death is something that we all do and yet for almost everyone it is a subject that few wish to discuss. I think the reason for this is that it scares us to think about not being the only thing we really “know.” We don’t remember being a floating soul in heaven waiting to be given our earthly casings i.e. bodies. It’s one of the things I need to talk to God about when I get there. I think if we did remember there would be way less worry about leaving here. We would all know that it’s a transition to where we have already been and it’s a cycle. It’s in the missing of the other souls…the one’s we love, have loved and have a history with that scares us more I think. We just don’t want to think about it at all.
I know that this comes across as very matter of fact and quite frankly it really is. I’ll also state that it should come as no surprise the aftereffects of my experience in death and the business of dying are like tremors after an earthquake and will last over my lifetime. I am alas what the psycho therapists call damaged goods. (not really but it helps others understand where I am coming from). More importantly, I feel somewhat of an expert in this subject. Many people have transitioned in my life and I have some thoughts about the transition, more specifically about planning the rest of your family for the inevitable.
Everyone needs to write down what they want to have happen when they go. I know… you don’t want to think about it. Pretend that you are packing for a trip and you are not going to ever be the same again then…. Think about your favorite things that you have acquired in your life and make a list of who gets what. My Aunt Elizabeth was super smart about this and actually sent her diamonds to us and gave us specifically what she wanted us to have before she no longer remembered who we were. I like that. The last thing I want to have happen is all of my hard work acquiring beautiful things being rummaged through and fought over by those left behind. Nobody can argue if you wrote it and after all these things are yours. Don’t you want to have a say in who gets what? Next you need to think about your service and write that down. Do you want to be cremated? Do you want to be buried? Find a reputable funeral home and get all that done and paid for. When Nana transitioned she had all of this done. She lived to 102 and nothing was left unsaid, unloved or undone. I like this too. It’s actually why I always hug and kiss my family and clients and make sure that my last contact with everyone is something that if I were to transition it’s “all good.” Crazy but true.
I want to be cremated and have a large party. Afterwards, I want to be placed in my Louis Vuitton bag. On my birthday each year the remaining generations are required to enjoy a martini and must pass down some beautiful story of my life to the younger generations. I have measured the space and there’s enough room for two in there and my love has no argument in being placed in there with me. My son, who is 12, has decided that he will have to purchase a Louis Vuitton trunk because he really wants all of us to be in one great big Louis Vuitton and used as a piece of furniture amongst our family. Gotta love the way he thinks!
Take Care of YOU! 
