It’s father’s day.
This is a time when I think back to the men in my life who reared me, and the gratitude that I feel towards them for having done such a great job. I was fortunate enough to have several wonderful men around me, guiding me and setting the examples of what to look for one day in a spouse and a father to my children. The importance of a father can never be underestimated, and the relationship between a father and a daughter sets the stage for choices she will make inevitably affecting her life and the quality of life for her children. Serious business, I’d say, is the work of men.
My pastor, a gentle, soft spoken man, was able to convey to me comfort and compassion in the wake of my mother’s passing. He held my hand, and we walked through the steps to being baptized at the tender age of 13. He had watched me grow and had stood by me each Sunday checking in to make sure I was healing in grace. He met with Brian and I much later as we all prepared for the important decision to marry and spoke to us saying, “Be careful what you each say to one another in a fit of anger. Your words are your swords and even the most heart felt apologies can not take back things you say.” Brian and I have been married this year for 22 years. We rarely have a fight these days, having all of our kinks, as it were, worked out in the first few years, but we always remember what Mr. Larrimore said. Wise words and compassion is the work of men.
My grandfather was a sweet man. He adored my grandmother so and with every breath, he wanted to please her and to make sure she was happy. I watched them act together as a whole, neither one of them willing to cross the other. They exemplified what it meant to be married and to, in God’s eyes, act as one flesh. The example they set forth in discipline both to their children, as well as to the unexpected rearing of me and my siblings, was consistent and fair. By their example, they set high standards of what marriage means and how to rear children together, standards that Brian I are influenced by and carry on today. Kind words and fairness is the work of men.
My daddy was a very smart man. He healed his patients and made so many happy with the birth of new life. He was a very responsible and well-respected man in our community. When I wanted to do something, be it dance or play an instrument, he did everything in his power to provide those extras and support my achievements. He demanded excellence in all that he pursued, and as he was top in his field and well-known in our community, he saw success embodied in the achievement of ones goals and the acknowledgement from the community as a measure of such. I learned as I became successful just how much of my father runs through my veins. The spirit of his desire to be excellent is rich and very much alive in me. The example that I set forth in our community to give back and be the best that I can be is a measure in my mind of my own successes. Responsibility and achievement is the work of men.
My Brian has had the grand task from the moment we became one to live up to high standards, and through it all, he has shined. He, having come from a family with like standards, grew up understanding the importance of being a man. Rich in the ability to make a joke and pass along the positive goes far in a home with a driven and serious female. (I will not point any fingers! LOL) He has the ability to diffuse any situation that may come our way with a witty and always well thought out statement that perfectly sums up the issue while bringing it back down to reality.
(I have no idea what you are saying when you think I’m overreacting!) He and I are challenged daily now with parenting a teen and a soon to be one in possibly the most dangerous time in our history with social media. What was once a task of just paying attention to ones schools and friends is now a world full of danger.
He always manages to get down to the business of what this is really all about, and in doing so, he calms us all. Humor and perspective is the work of men. I’d say it takes knowing a great man to be able to emulate him and for all those little girls to be able to find one someday. There is surely more to being a father than meets the eye. The importance of their roles in the lives of us all cannot even be measured. I adored the men in my life as a child. Each one of these important men made an impression on me that had lasting effects for who I would become, how I would be viewed, and what kind of children I would rear. I am grateful for the wisdom and compassion…the kindness and the fairness…the example of success and measurement of such…and through it all, the ability to laugh and have perspective.
Happy Father’s Day!
